Caught On The Sidelines
by sungrl404
Summary: A camp-out is around the corner and Haley learns to live her life apart from Lucas and possibly with Nathan...
1. There He Goes

A/N: Hi, I just wanted to apologize about removing my story, Secrets Hard To Keep from fanfiction.net. After recieving all your warm reviews, I was really encouraged to continue but then I got a really rude review from someone I wont mention by pen name, and even though it hurt me there was some truth to it. I decided to delete the story and start over, staying critical and true to my writing. To this reviewer, I'd like to say although you were right in your opinions, you lacked any class. For further notice, don't bother leaving your reviews if you cant give CIVIL constructive criticism. I dont want to hear it and I dont need it -especially from someone who doesn't even have the courage to write a story themselves. To everyone else, I want to say I hope you like this story and please review if you'd like. I love hearing your opinions and encouragement. I also wanted to say I dont believe you have to be a writer to read/review but I think when your not sometimes you can lack the understanding that it takes a lot of courage for any writer to put themselves out there in the stories read by strangers. Thanks for your understanding and enjoy!  
  
Summary: Takes place a month after the incident with Payten/Brooke and Lucas at the party. Only difference is that Haley went on the date with Lucas but he never showed up at her house and the KISS never happened. Since the month, Lucas has been distant from Haley, and Haley has been avoiding any kind of interaction with Nathan. This takes place one night at her house. Lucas and her get into a fight about something that they both cant really understand the full extent of... Gets better next chapter. This is a NALEY trust me but it is gonna take time to get to that point.  
  
And I am still here waiting there to catch you if you fall, I dont know why I care so much when I shouldn't care at all..... -The Ataris  
  
It was one moment she would never forget for the rest of her life. It was the moment she watched him walk away....  
  
They had one of their infamous fights over trivial issues that made no sense to her. Haley had taken the place of opposition but they both knew what they were really arguing about. It had been two weeks since she had noticed the change. It was subtle at first and part of her had allowed herself to deny its very existence... until now.  
  
"Whats your problem, Haley? Tell me how in the hell you can agree with Wiles cutting a varisty player from the next two team games for having a couple of drinks?"  
  
Haley understood where he was coming from. The player and him had become very close ever since Nathan and the rest of the team had opposed Lucas's joining on. In fact, she knew that he was the only one on the team who kept his spirits from crashing down from the non-existent thread they hanged on. Stil, she felt like Lucas was allowing favoritism to seep through rational logic.  
  
"Lucas, I am just saying, the guy had no business drinking on the bus. Rules are rules and you know about the kid last year who got suspended from some school activity for doing the same thing? What makes a basketball player any different in the enforcement of school policy!?"  
  
She watched his neck muscle tense as he shook his head with frustration. A thought pondered her head as she realized the lines that had once never been there between them now where so evident... Team bonding and friendship made sense to her but it was the idea that Lucas believed the team was more important than the average school peer that really pissed her off....  
  
" Hales, you dont get it and for once, I just dont expect you too. The team needs Gavin on it and he made a mistake by getting wasted but so what. He shoudn't have gotten cut for any reason at least not when our final 5 games have started..."  
  
He sighed and carelessly turned away back towards his plight into The Great Gastby. She watched as his eyes focused on the words, blocking out all the world as well as her. She had always hated him doing that. If things didnt go as they were suppose to or to his liking, he just shut down on the spot.  
  
"Lucas, i'm sorry okay. I know you and Gavin have been friends for the last month and I know things are rough now with the team but I think this isn't really the issue at hand between us. I mean ever since that night out with Brooke and Peyton, you have developed this tunnel vision where all you see is the team... and Brooke... and Peyton... and-"  
  
His eyes shot up from the book and she couldnt quite place the look on his face. Haley had never really seen it before. At least not directed at her. It was a look that made her feel really uncomfortable. It was critical and cold, more like a look she'd get from Nathan...  
  
"Haley, its not just about the team and I dont have tunnel vision. I think your wrong about this issue and about me. I know I havent been around lately and things are kind of distant between us but if you dont know me well enough to know that I am not so damn superficial than I wonder if you ever really knew me at all."  
  
His words hit home straight to her heart and she felt like someone had stabbed her in the back. Of course she knew him... better then he knew himself. Sadness creeped in as she realized that things had really changed between them... He wasnt the same person he had used to be... The same boy who would wake her up in the early hours of the morning to take a walk and talk about his mom and his books. He wasnt that guy anymore. His friends at the court hadnt seen him for over a month and although his heart hadnt changed, his image had... he just didnt know it yet. Yep, things had defintley changed and although she could see him evolving into something mabye he was destined to be, she didn't see herself evolving with him.  
  
"Lucas."  
  
His eyes once again met hers and she could see that his frustration was building.  
  
"I got to go, Hales. We have an early practice tomorrow and I still have to study for my chem class. So I better get going..."  
  
Hales face brightened a little as a thought crossed through her mind...  
  
"We could study it together. I think I remember the test you are gonna take from last semester. I could give you some pointers and-"  
  
She saw him squirm a little and then get up from his relaxed position off the couch.  
  
"Actually, I cant. I promised Payten that I would study with her tonight for the test. Im kind late so I better get going. I'll see ya tomorrow, okay?"  
  
Less than audible, she muttered a yes and watched leaving out the back. As he walked across the lawn, her heart started to break. It wasnt that he wasnt staying, it was where he was going that killed her. It was symbolic of a choice he made, not of another girl, which was true, but of another life she had no place in. A life of games, parties, sex.... everything that she didnt want to know at least not now in her life. She rubbed her now aching eyes and turned towards the stairs and her room of solace....She lied down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling as faint sounds of MEST played from her cd player....  
  
Time goes by, I just try... To hold my head up high  
  
People try to deny... Classify, or just hide...  
  
The feelings, what's inside...Broken hearts, and hard times  
  
Don't let life break you down this time...  
  
Tears ran down her face as she thought of this weekend and what was in store for her. Before their fight, Lucas had made her promise she'd go with him to the teams annual camp-out up North. She knew he had wanted her to go for support but she didnt know if he really needed it anymore.... now that he had Payten and the team....  
  
I'm sitting here, crying here...You're alone and dying  
  
There waiting for bad news..Like walking on broken glass  
  
Nowhere just others ask who are all alone..  
Cuz you know that I'd give my life for you..Time can be nothing but our enemy  
  
Don't give up just hold on, Is the pain just too strong  
  
To hold on...Sometimes we're wrong when we think we're right  
  
Tonight will be the night...You'll break free from this fight  
  
Dont let life break you down this time  
  
Haley James sighed as weariness got the best of her and her fears came crashing down on her pillow. She slept that night with many questions she only hoped would be answered this weekend. Did Lucas and her still have a friendship? Would things ever be the same?... Did she really feel what she felt when she was Nathan that night? More importantly, did he?...................  
  
A/N: Okay, guys! See ya later, hoped you like it. Please review if you have time. 


	2. Bitter Beer and A Kiss Unexpected

A/N: Thanks for your guys reviews! They really encouraged me to write this chapter earlier than I thought. Just wanted to vent a little and tell you I am sorry about the mispelled words and typos.... I am using my uncle's computer and he doesn't have Microsoft Works or Word just WordPad which basically sucks ### because it has no grammar correction or anything. Proof- reading works some of the time but not all the time~ ! Aaaahhhh! Makes me annoyed with myself! Anways, not that you all need to hear my stupid rants, so on with the story...  
  
"...these arms remain stretched out to you, mabye someday you''ll accept them....  
mabye its too late to save a young girls heart that slowly stopped beating" - The Ataris  
  
"I am glad you came Hales."  
  
Haley turned towards Lucas who at the current point in time was attempting to speak over Peyton's booming rock music.  
  
"What?????"  
  
Haley shook her head as Lucas attempted once again to tell her how glad he was that she was coming on this trip. Haley eventually got the message as she nodded rather hastily, turning back towards her window taking in the scenery of the dark dilluted forest.. It had been a bumpy ride since she had gotten into Brooke's explorer over 3 hours ago....  
  
3 HOURS AGO....  
  
When she had gotten in the car she hadn't expected the vibe to be so high-paced and wild. Brooke had greeted her rather curtly ignoring Lucas's bear hug he always gave Haley when he'd see her. Peyton was drawing in her mysterious notebook only turning for a second to give her a genuine smile of kindness.  
  
"Glad you made it, Haley"  
  
Haley had smiled appreciatively and had one foot within the door before Brooke was pealing out of Haley's driveway.  
  
"This is going to be awesome! Beer, hot guys and two-man sleeping bags! My karma has definitley turned around for me..."  
  
They all had laughed as Peyton turned on some of her punk while they all respectively went to their own worlds of thought...  
  
Haley looked over at a Lucas who was staring outside the front windshield.  
  
"Hey Brooke, how much longer till we are there?"  
  
"Umm, Dont know... its somewhere up these hills. Hey you guys, look for a bonfire... thats were everyone willl be......"  
  
Everyone started looking out through the windows as Brooke rammed her explorer into high gear as they dodged trees and rocks alike...  
  
"How many people are going to be at this thing?"  
  
Haley watched as Brooke turned slightly back towards her and looked her down rather snidely.  
  
"Lets just say everyone who is anyone... with a few exceptions of course..."  
  
If Haley had been a violent person she would have smacked her right across her smug face. It was just like her to make her feel like she wasnt apart of their world. She had thought when Brooke had hooked her and Nathan up on the date, things would be better between herself and Brooke. Fat chance. When Brooke had realized that Haley didnt exactly fit her idea of higher social status... she had reverted back to her usual bitchy ways.  
  
"Jeez thanks Brooke.. you know for having such witty insults, one could wonder why the hell you  
can't even pass English?"  
  
Lucas started to laugh as Peyton turned her face away, throwing her strangled laughs into the arm of her jacket. Brooke just looked at Haley with one of her infamous glares.  
  
"Nice Haley, real nice. Can you two put away the claws for tonight? We are gonna have some fun tonight so lets pipe down the insults. You guys can duke it out later."  
  
Haley smiled at Peyton. She had always liked her ability to come into any conversation and turn it around with only a few words. Deep down, she had realized early on that although Peyton was a part of that superficial crowd, she never exactly wore their colors on the inside.  
  
"Hey over there. There they are...."  
  
Both Haley and Peyton turned towards where Lucas was pointing at. Before them was a massive fire surround by at least 50 other kids from their school. Kegs were lined up in a single row of about 8 and two massive tweaked out trucks blasted music over the fire.  
  
Although she'd never admit it out loud, the sight before her did capture her interest and curiousity. She had never been a party girl and had always wondered what parties like these looked like...now she knew. The car pulled to a halt and all four of them got out as their peers came up to them. Haley stood off to the side, as Lucas was bombarded by his fellow players and Brooke and Peyton talked to the rest of the cheerleaders.  
  
Whatever excitement she had felt when arriving on the scene was slowly leaving as she started to feel like she had treaded on something she wasnt suppose to be part of...  
  
"Haley come on. Lets get a drink. You ever did a kegstand? You better tonight girl.."  
  
Haley felt herself being dragged through a massive crowd of people by Peyton. She made quick eye contact with Lucas letting him know it was alright. Peyton linked her arm with hers making her feel like she was safe from the people there she knew she didnt want to know. As they got to the keg, Peyton poured her a drink, gulping her own down without a single breathe in between.  
  
"Here drink it fast or you'll realize it takes like shit."  
  
Haley laughed and swallowed it hard, pushing back the bitterness and inviting the freedom it gave her. She refilled her cup and smiled at Peyton who was half-jokingly dancing to the music.  
  
"This music blows. These people wouldn't know real music if it bit them in the ass...."  
  
Haley was intent on drinking as much as she could, somewhat ignoring Peytons remark until she felt her blood go cold as she recognized a voice not too hard to forget.  
  
"Depends on your definition of real music, Peyton."  
  
Haley could feel his presence behind her and the proximity couldnt be much because she could feel his steps come to a hault behind her. She now stared at Peyton whos joking demeanor turned rather icy and disinterested.  
  
"When did you become an expert on music, Scott. Last time I checked it really wasnt your thing?"  
  
She felt him shift and watched as he passed her and Peyton, grabbing a cup and filling it up at the keg as if both girls werent physically even there.  
  
"Well that was last time, and NOW... we are this time... so mabye you should check again before opening your mouth."  
  
Haley felt the tension a mile away. By the look on Peyton's face she could tell a big fight was about to take place if Nathan didnt check his attitude.  
  
"Yeah okay, whatever. Haley lets get back to the other Scott.. you know the one who actually can carry on a conversation without it having to be about himself?"  
  
Haley watched Nathan's reaction as he drank his beer, not even flinching at Peytons remark. Her eyes scanned his which were currently looking out over the fire as if he didnt have a care in the world. She glanced at Peyton who was looking at her expectantly and nodded slightly as if saying it was time to go for them both.  
  
"I think thats a good plan, Peyton. You should go talk to Scott, that is if you can get him away from Brooke. Hows that going by the way?.."  
  
Nathan's face gave one of his infamous smirks as he quickly passed Payten, moving towards Haley and stopping abruptly only inches from her face. His position blocked out Payten and she knew he hadnt done it by accident.  
  
"We need to talk."  
  
Haley gulped hard as her mind started racing with ways to get herself out of the situation she was now in. A part of her wanted to go and hear all the excuses Nathan could give about why he was such an ass to her on their date but most of her just wanted to bail on him, denying his existence and meaning like he had done to her in front of his friends.  
  
"Theres not anything to talk about."  
  
She had wanted her voice to sound uncaring and cold but what had come out was the echoes of hurt she had felt from his rejection from a couple of nights ago. She watched as he inched closer and realized to the outsider it would look like he was about to kiss her. In fact, her comfortable vibe was now leaving as she noticed people stopping their conversations and looking towards the scene before them.  
  
Haley backed up an inch and he matched it. Her eyes shot up at him with anger and she backed up again trying to put space between them. His movements met hers and she finally relented standing still as the noise of the party was dying down and people were now just watching.  
  
"I think theres a lot to talk about. We can do this here... in front of everyone or we can go somewhere private. Your choice..."  
  
Haley tiltled her head to the left and noticed Lucas's eyes intently on the situation. His stance was tense and she could tell he was about to intervene. The last thing she wanted was a scene and as she was about to relent and go with Nathan, she started to think about his need to hide her from everyone. Mabye he was bluffing right now... mabye he really didnt want people to know about them, whatever they were...  
  
"You sure you want to do that Scott? Afterall, I wouldn't want to hurt your image..."  
  
Her words came out as a shock even to herself as she realized she was letting people in on things that might backfire later.  
  
She watched as his eyes nodded as if contemplating something. It was a look he would get when he was about to score. A look of determination. Once when she had watched him play, she had noticed something that she would wonder about for days to come. His eyes would stare up at the basket and even though there were tons of people cheering his name and opponents blocking his every move, she had always gotten the feeling that at that very moment there wasnt anyone or any distraction there between him and the basket. It was just him and the basket... nothing else. The look he would get was the look he had on his face now. It was the one look she hoped he would give her for the rest of her life.. It was also the look she didnt quite understand fully because if she had, she would have known his next move...  
  
For within a second later, Nathan Scott destroyed the space between them and shattered her world upside down by crashing his lips to hers in a passion she never had known.....  
  
It was as if time had stood still and she felt herself fall......His lips demanded hers and she couldnt bring herself to hold back. It was like the connection wasnt even hers or his but theirs and it was something she couldnt deny even in front of all those people....  
  
Even in front of Lucas.  
  
A/N... --- Okay, folks done for now. Please read and review if you'd like. Thanks for all the comments! 


	3. The Promise She Wont Keep

A/N: Thanks so much for all the reviews I have gotten. Your reviews really encouraged me and made a difference in my thoughts about where this chapter should go. I wanted to take a minute to clear something up brought on by Crystal about the differences in chapter one and two. Crystal- thanks so much for being so nice in your questions about the story. You didnt flame me at all and I appreciate your comments. I just wanted to explain it a little better. The first chapter, I feel deals with the insecurities that Haley feels about Lucas and their relationship. I think any real friendship has issues that come up sometime within the friendship and even though they are present and might not get solved right away, most of the time your friendship still continues just the same. So by chapter two, Haley and Lucas are still good friends; its just that there are some underlined issues going on. I probably should have written it better so I am really sorry about the confusion. Anyways thanks so much and I hope you all like this chapter.... By the way just wanted to say, I am not big on cuss words in stories but there are a few in this chapter because I think its realistic to what an argument like this one would look like. If you dont like it, please dont flame. I went with my gut on this and most likley it wont be like this for every chapter.... On with the story...  
  
"You take me down, further inside of me...  
Now I am fading out, I can barely see..... I hover." - Trust Company  
  
He was kissing her and she was kissing him back.  
  
It was the most intense feeling she had ever experienced in her whole life. Nathan Scott was kissing Haley James in front of the whole school.... and Lucas. His lips were crashing into hers and she could feel the blood that once circulated freely throughout her whole body, instantaneously rush to her face and lips. His thumb was placed on her cheek as his fingers possesively held her neck. His other hand was wrapped around her waist drawing her in to him. Haley's mind was racing with flashes of thoughts about the whole situation and the audience that now laid before them in a quiet hush.  
  
Moments became minutes and although she was willing her body to pull away, she couldnt bring herself to do it. Haley was half-expecting herself to wake up to the sound of an alarm clock but no such ring was buzzing.  
  
To this day, she would always ask herself who exactly pulled away first but all she knew was that for what seemed to be like eternity she was kissing Nathan and now she was embraced by empty space. It would be the first moment of many to come where she would feel the seperation of him from her when he wasn't near...  
  
Her body froze in place as her eyes met a locked gaze from Nathan. Neither of them moved and she couldnt help but start to look around her at all the astonished faces of most of her peers. Brooke was smirking like crazy and Peyton had a look on her face that Haley couldnt read at all. It was mixed with shock along with something else she couldn't put her finger on. She was about to analyze it when she felt someone else's presence come dangerously close to her and Nathan.  
  
"What the hell was that?!"  
  
His words were confused, strangled and angry. She fought to come up with some type of explanation but couldnt find the words that would ease the situations now dangerous vibe.  
  
"Lucas, I -"  
  
She hadnt gotten a word in edge wise before Lucas was grabbing her by the arm and calling Brooke to take them home.  
  
"Dude, relax... where the hell are you going? This doesnt concern you, Lucas- This is between me and Haley..."  
  
Haley watched helplessly as Lucas now towered over Nathan.  
  
"No fuck you Scott... you have gone too far this time. I have let you push me day after day over stupid shit like this team and your territory but this is too damn far... This is not happening between you and Haley...do you hear me, Nathan? Its NOT gonna happen so back off, or I swear you will regret it."  
  
Lucas shoved Nathan and Nathan was about to counter it with a shove back when Brooke stepped between them and motioned towards the car. Haley could feel an intense rage starting to grow from within her towards Lucas's outburst but she knew it would be better to deal with it later when he cooled off. As she turned towards the car, she stopped before getting into the back seat and glanced over at Nathan. His hands were shoved in his pockets and his body language looked rather dejected and upset. His eyes were fixated on hers and somehow even though his mouth never moved, she could feel him telling her not to leave. Haley tried her best to relay to him that they would talk later but time wasnt on her side at the moment. Lucas was in the front seat now refusing to even look at her and Peyton looked rather annoyed with the whole situation. The car hadn't even backed out of the woods before Peyton let out her thoughts.  
  
"What the hells the deal, Lucas? Why are we leaving so god damn early? So they were kissing? We've kissed,... whats the big deal.?"  
  
Haley turned towards Peyton who eyed her quickly and was now staring forward waiting on Lucas's reply.  
  
"I dont want to talk about this with you Peyton. Not now."  
  
Things were happening so quickly that Haley was having trouble keeping up with it all..  
  
"Well than fine, talk about it with Haley all you want. In fact, you have a damn good drive home because I am staying here..."  
  
With that, Peyton got out of the car, slamming the door pretty hard and venturing back towards the party. Brooke had stopped driving and pulled forward back to the other parked cars. She stopped the ignition and looked back at Haley and then at Lucas.  
  
"Look you guys... I dont have a problem taking you wherever you want to go but this is a party I am not so keen on passing up because of your guys fuckin problems. So take some time to talk about it and then come out the car with some better attitudes.... CAUSE LET ME TELL YOU... there is some wild ass shit thats gonna be taking place in like an hour and you dont want to miss, alright? We cool? Okay? Okay.."  
  
Brooke grabbed her purse, smiled at Lucas who was staring forward rather coldly and then she was out the car door faster than Haley had ever seen.  
  
Haley gulped hard as silence engulfed the air around her. Outside she could see the party wildly getting out of hand as drunk girls where flashing anyone and everyone while the basketball players where having drinking contests. The once quiet hush had been replaced with a roaring sound of music and laughs. She longed to be outside there with all of them and Nathan but her loyalties right now, lied inside the car with Lucas. She knew he had questions and she was the only one with answers. She only prayed to God, she could make this right between them without having to lose a chance with Nathan in the process.  
  
"I dont want you to see him, Haley."  
  
Dead silence suffocated her as the impact of his words set in...  
  
"He'll only use you and then hurt you...and I dont want to have to be there to pick up the pieces when he does. Promise me, Hales... Promise me you wont be with him no matter what.....Promise me."  
  
She could feel her mouth grow dry as tears welled up within her eyes as the severity of the situation weighed in on her heart. She was being forced to make a choice between someone she had always known and cared about and a relationship she so desperateley wanted to explore....  
  
"I promise."  
  
The words came out choked and bitter.  
  
"Good."  
  
She felt the tension ease between them as he quickly nodded and got out of the car without even looking at her. She watched as he made his way towards Peyton who was now downing a large consumption of alcohol. Her gut told her to get out of the car and go to Lucas demanding him to see the error of his selfish ways. Her gut told her to tell him to go to hell and that she would date whoever she wanted to and he would have just have to deal with it... Lastily, her gut told her to go to Nathan and tell him that he was the only one she wanted to be with right now....  
  
Haley didnt listen to her gut this time....Instead, she broke down sobbing.  
  
She cried for a lot of things in that moment...  
  
She cried for a love she couldn't have, a love she was slowly losing and for a moment she would never be able to experience again.... A moment where Nathan Scott kissed her and proved with every fiber of his being that he wanted her and needed her... just like she needed and wanted him.  
  
(CONTINUED NEXT CHAPTER.)  
  
A/N: Ahh... sorry guys but I got to cut it short, its late at night and I have work tomorrow so you know how it is. Next chapter will get good.....Nathan and Haley are gonna fight, he is gonna make her CRAZY jealous and Lucas is going to make a BIG MISTAKE that might just threaten his growing relationship with Peyton.... STAY TUNED.  
  
Thats it for now. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW, if you have time. I know, I know, Lucas looks like an ass and I promise he wont be forever.. but he is just not sure about Nathan and he has some unresolved feelings towards Haleys he isnt even aware of... hmmmmm.... 


	4. And So It Begins

A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay in writing this chapter! I have been working non-stop lately and I have been sooo very busy but I dont want to bore you with the details of my pathetic existence...haha, so here is the next chapter... read and review but be nice! =) Its kind of short and its more of a transition chapter so sorry if it doesnt live up to the hype.. I am in a wierd mood tonight so hopefully my writing wont suck too bad...  
  
"maybe you should sleep, maybe you just need a friend...as clumsy as you've been  
  
there's no one laughing....you will be safe in here..." - Our Lady Peace  
  
Tears where rushing down her face and she could feel the sting of them on her cheek. It was cold within the car and part of her longed to be outside by the growing fire... even so, her mind was racing on how to deal with the situation she now faced. Clarity finally rushed over her as she realized she would just have to fake it for now until she could find some time to reflect on everything that had just happened...  
  
Quickly, Haley got out of the car and made her way hesitantly towards where Lucas and Peyton were. From a distance, she could see that Lucas was failing miserably on explaining things to Peyton. His facial expressions where strained and Peyton seemed to be downing as much alcohol as she could while blatantly ignoring every attempt Lucas was making to talk to her.  
  
"Look, I dont want to talk about this now... not ever with you. I mean, you seem to have in your head that Haley needs your pigheaded attempts at rescuing her and I think its bull."  
  
Haley came up silently, unnoticed by both Lucas and Peyton....  
  
"Which part? Because I would think that you would agree with me on this, Peyton.. you out of all people know what Nathan Scott is capable of and who he really is..."  
  
Haley watched as Peyton stared hard over the fire and then shrugged almost with defeat...  
  
"Mabye so, Lucas. But I had to figure that out on my own and Haley does too...The only thing your doing right now is making things worse for everyone and most importantly for me and you... cause right now I dont know what the hell we are so mabye you could spend less time worrying about Haley and Nathan's relationship and focus on ours!"  
  
Peyton stormed off leaving Lucas staring intently after her. Before Haley could even talk to Lucas he was gone chasing after Peyton. Haley sighed and reached for another cup to drown her sorrows in.....  
  
By the time she was finished gulping back one, she was on her second... and third..... and fourth...  
  
"Damn girl... plan to drink it all before the nights up?"  
  
Haley turned towards Brooke who was smirking with some sort of hidden agenda...  
  
"What do you want, Brooke? This isnt the time or place for me right now, so whatever it is your up to or planning...do you mind saving it for another day? I am so not in the fucking mood right now..."  
  
She watched as Brooke's smile only got bigger and her eyes darted from hers towards the crowd of people...  
  
"Yeah, it must be tough being in the crossfire of two guys affections... I can relate... well actually, I more than can relate because I am the object of every guys desire..."  
  
Haley watched as Brooke cocked her head as if almost enjoying herself in her ultra-sized ego and conceit...  
  
"But anyways, enough of this small talk... I just thought I'd give you the heads up on a couple of things, tutor girl... things your not seeing the big picture on..."  
  
Annoyance started to cloud Haleys emotions and she could feel the heat flooding her brain and fists at the same time...  
  
"Oh really... please DO enlighten me on what you could ever possibly know that I dont...."  
  
"WELL... for instance, look over there Haley? Are you seeing why I am seeing?"  
  
Brooke pointed her finger over towards the back of the fire where Haley could see Nathan and a bunch of the guys from the basketball team. Most of them were piss drunk and flirting like crazy with some of the girls who just happened to be on their laps..... Haley scanned each of their faces until her own face fell as she watched some blonde talking with Nathan. Her hand was dangerously close to his thigh and she could see Nathan's face smirking back at the girl. Haley darted her eyes away, trying to block out the whole scene before her...  
  
Of course, she should have known better. Nathan was afterall a jock... just like the rest of them. The worst part was he was the worst example of a jock, because he wanted everything and everyone at his beck and call... Haley's mind ventured back to thier heated kiss and she wondered what the hell had it really been about then..... Had it been some type of show for his stupid friends? Or mabye just a way to get even with Lucas?  
  
She shook her head sadly and was about to walk away from Brooke when she felt a strong grip on her arm...  
  
"Not so fast, Tutor Girl. I am not even close to finished with you yet. Looks like you saw Nathan and that girl, right? Are you getting the point I am making or do I need to spell it out for you?"  
  
Haley only nodded rather glumly and quickly withdrew her arm from Brooke's grasp... Her back was turned and she was walking away when she heard Brooke call out to her....  
  
"He doesnt want you Haley and even if he does, its not going to be for long. Nathan is just like every other guy here except for Lucas and that isn't even an option for you... Take some of my advice since I'll never give it to you again... walk away cause your out of your league..."  
  
Haley turned around back towards Brooke who had a strange look on her face. Even though, Haley knew that Brooke was right and that they would never be friends no matter what, something strange could be found on Brooke's face.... it almost looked like concern....  
  
"Nathan hurts people, he hurt Peyton and he'll hurt you even worse than what you feel now. So I am telling you because apparently your not even listening to your FRIENDS so mabye you'll listen to me..."  
  
"You've made your point, Brooke. Now just leave me alone..."  
  
Haley turned around quickly heading back towards the alcohol...  
  
"And while your at it, set Lucas free off this friendship leash you have him on. Its blowing my game and Peytons... Frankly, I dont appreciate it and if you dont, and I mean, SOON... your problems with Nathan wont be the only thing you'll have to worry about."  
  
Haley blocked out Brooke's hurtful words and grabbed another cup....It was going to be one long ass night, that was one thing she knew for sure. She grabbed another drink and drank it quickly avoiding the smirking stares of many peers that she didnt even know.  
  
15 MINUTES LATER:  
  
"Hey. You came back..."  
  
Haley's blood-shot eyes glanced over at Nathan who was staring at her with a small smile on his face. Her heart skipped a beat as she watched him place his hand warmly on her shoulder.  
  
"Everything okay with you and Lucas now? I'm sorry about kissing you like that in front of everybody. I mean... I dont regret kissing you but I didnt realize the whole affect it would have on everyone and stuff...Haley, I am sorry about our date. I was a complete ass and I want to make it up to you..."  
  
Haley stared at his face long and hard. It was always funny to her how she could find small features of people she hadn't noticed before when in stressful situations. Like right now, she noticed how Nathan's cheek had a slight scar near the back of it towards his ear. It almost could go invisible to the eye but somehow right now it was the one thing that stood out to her even a0mist his profound words....  
  
Her fingers which where trembling out of fear or mabye just the alcohol, gently came up and traced the outline of the scar. Her eyes held his as his hand came up over hers and firmly kept her hand on his cheek....It was moments like these that made it hard for her to do what she was about to do... end it.  
  
"Nathan, I saw you a couple of minutes ago with that girl..."  
  
A look of confusion came on his face and she wondered what thoughts were racing in his head right now...  
  
"I thinks its better if we just end whatever this is.. .all of it... including the tutoring. I have a friend who could help you with these last tests you have and uim... I'll make sure you aren't left in the dust for these next couple of months... its just better this way... for all of us..."  
  
She watched as his eyes bore into hers searching for answers she was trying to hide...  
  
"This isnt about it being better for everyone... its about it being better for Lucas, right?"  
  
She looked away trying to keep herself from revealing any more of what she knew he could never know...  
  
"You know I never thought you'd be the type to punk out, James. I mean you just dont seem like the type to let people manipulate you in doing things you dont want to do. But whatever, you've made up your mind so now live with it."  
  
Initial shock ran over her as his voice ended and she watched him start to walk away. It wasnt suppose to happen like this. He wasnt suppose to just give up.. He was suppose to fight for her, make her see the light.... he wasnt just suppose to leave....  
  
"By the way... that girl... thats just an excuse. I didnt even kiss her and deep down you know that. There isnt a girl here except you that I wanted or needed... but you... looks like to me, I am not the only guy you want or need...."  
  
His eyes met with hers one more time before he severed what ever connection they once had. He walked away from her leaving her with questions that she didnt even know the answers too... but one she did know and she refused to let him leave without knowing it as well...  
  
"Nathan, its not like that with me and Lucas. I mean, I dont feel for him like I feel for you-"  
  
Her voice halted as she realized what she said and she saw him stop short and turn back towards her. He walked rather quickly not giving her enough time to run away like she would have if he didnt know her better..  
  
"Than why are you just giving up? I mean if you feel even half of what I feel for you, isnt that more than just some friendship between you and Lucas? Tell me - where I am missing the logic in you just letting that go?"  
  
His eyes searched hers once more and she thought of a million excuses she could say but at the current moment she didnt feel like doing that anymore. The promise she had made to Lucas.... was the promise she was now going to break.  
  
"Your right ...there is no logic behind it. I dont want to give you up, Nathan and I am not going too."  
  
Her arms wrapped around his neck and she buried her head into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her as well.  
  
"Good."  
  
She felt him chuckle in her shoulder and a small smile formed on her face.  
  
"You had me scared there for a minute, James."  
  
She pulled away only slightly and smirked at him.  
  
"Oh yeah, Scott... how scared...."  
  
His eyes darkened and she could see the hidden fear in his eyes..  
  
"Words wouldn't even do it justice..."  
  
She smiled at him as he placed his hand in hers leading her back towards his friends. Her eyes scanned the crowd as she saw Lucas look up at her. She could read his face and somehow without words, she knew what she was saying to him and she knew that he was reading it loud and clear...  
  
The only thing she didnt know was how in the hell he was going to deal with it...how in the hell where they all to deal with it..... it was one of those questions that would just have to be answered with time... LOTS of time.  
  
--- Thanks for reading , promise this is not the end... Lucas is not going to be a happy camper about all this and just because Nathan and Haley are now sorta-kinda together doesnt mean its going to be smooth sailing either... I am toying with this being a triangle type of fic, what do you all thing? Strictly Naley? or a threesome! haha, okay.. read/and review. 


	5. Shock and Impact

A/N: Sorry for the late update, just been really ....busy. But anyways, I hope you like this chapter. Please R/R if you have a chance....  
  
"... Here I am pouring my heart on to these rooftops, just a ghost to the world, thats exactly,  
exactly what I need... From up here the city lights burn, like a thousand miles of fire and  
I'm here to sing this anthem of our dying day."- Story Of The Year  
  
From the minute Nathan had put his arm around her, she had avoided Lucas. The party was never ending and a recollection of making it home at 5 am was the only memory she really had of last night... Needless to say, she hadn't gone home with Lucas and the rest of them. Instead, she had went in Nathans car laughing her ass off at his bad driving. It was one of the funniest moments she had ever had and one of the biggest challenges. Both of them had been pretty drunk and driving had not been easy for Nathan at all. The cool air against her face had cleared her head enough to remember where she lived but they got lost at least three times attempting to get out of the woods. She would always remember that reckless night. It had been her first walk on the wildside.  
  
A smile formed on her face as she remembered a conversation with her grandmother when she was about 15 or so...  
  
(FLASHBACK)  
  
"You know honey, your going to be noticed alot as you get older..."  
  
Haley laughed at her grandmother as she stared out of the window. It was always like her to say the most unusual things at the oddest moments. Her grandmother was always giving her advice from her rocking chair. It had become almost a ritualistic thing for Haley. Every last sunday was spent at the retirement home looking out the big glass window as her grandmother gave sound advice for her adolescent dilemas.....  
  
"Grandma, you know thats never going to happen..."  
  
Her grandmother smiled softly and returned to her book only looking up every once in awhile to stare at Haleys features.  
  
"No... I'm pretty sure. You have my genes. - We James women always get noticed even if a little late.... but be careful, because not all attention is the best. Some attention can be dangerous. Just remember, Haley... your not that girl... you know which one I'm talking about too so don't make that face... Your not her, dont ever be..."  
  
(End of Flashback)  
  
Haley grimaced as she remembered that moment in her life. It was hard because last night had awakened something in her she had been sure for most of her life was never really there.... It was always a routine for herself to believe that she couldnt be like them, so carefree and reckless. In fact, Lucas and her had always prided themselves in being above that level of immaturity... but now, Haley wasn't really sure who she was or what she was becoming. Everything just didn't make sense to her anymore. In fact, her whole life was beginning to unravel in the worst of ways......  
  
Haley grabbed her bag and jetted out the screen door making sure to go out the back to avoid her not so happy mother. When she had come in to the hous at 5 this morning, her mother just gave her an annoyed look and muttered a few rants of "being irresponsible"... "grounded for life" and then headed for bed. Haley knew she was in some deep shit but wanted to wait until after school to deal with it. Right now, her head and heart was focused on making it through the day without having to deal with Lucas or Nathan.  
  
TWENTY MINUTES LATER....  
  
She wasn't even in the hallway yet before she noticed the unusual vibe from her peers. Everywhere she turned she got the funniest looks and quite frankly, it bothered her. One girl had scoffed at her and walked past her muttering something she couldn't make out. While another guy just winked at her like she was some piece of meat but the worst.... the worst of them all..... was the look she was now recieving from Lucas....Her gut told her to deal with it later so she made her way through the opposite end of the hall hoping he wouldn't attempt to interact with her...  
  
Relief came over her as she watched Lucas stare for a minute and then turn to Peyton. She watched from the corner of her eye as he grabbed Peyton's hand and gestured towards their class....  
  
Haley smiled to herself as she convinced herself all was going to be okay in her now drama filled world(at least thats what she hoped.).... right now, it was all up in the air, and who the hell knew what really was going to go down today...  
  
FORTY MINUTES LATER AFTER HER LAB.....  
  
"Haley!"  
  
Haley whipped around and felt a pair of arms embrace her as all the heat in her body rushed to her head. She glanced up at a towering Nathan who had a gleam in his eye that made her wonder when the last time she had seen it was....  
  
"Do you know I have been waiting all morning to see you. I just had to suffer through one of Tidmen's really bad lectures..."  
  
Haley smiled and pushed back a little, leaving some space between them. When he had hugged her, he had held on to her which made her feel so much in such a little amount of time. Her heart was content but she was somewhat uncomfortable with the display of public affection. It was making a statement she wasn't sure she was ready to make.... The movement hadn't gone unoticed by Nathan either and she could sense a bit of hurt in his eyes...  
  
"Whats going on? Did I do something..... I mean between last night and my bad driving, that can't possibly be it, right?"  
  
The tension eased up a bit and Haley smiled and lightly put her hand on his arm, clinging to it.  
  
"No thats not it, I - its nothing... I kind of have to go though... I mean, I am late to my tutoring appointment but we'll talk later."  
  
He nodded rather silently and they parted ways. She turned slowly watching him interact with his friends. Sadness came over her as she realized things were how she wanted them to be but the whole situation with Lucas was holding her back right now.... She really needed to talk to Lucas. No matter what happened at least in the end things could get resolved either way....  
  
OUTSIDE - TEN MINUTES LATER:  
  
"Lucas! Come on, are you really not going to say ANYTHING to me? I mean, I just explained it to you and your just standing there!"  
  
Haley was about to lose it. She had just spent the last ten minutes talking to a nonchalant Lucas who refused to make any action that acknowledged her presence or even the one-sided conversation that was taking place....  
  
She watched him with intensity as he leaned on his car staring straight ahead, not even willing to look at her. It reminded her of a time when they were both nine and she had accidently recked his gameboy by spilling juice on it. He had pouted for a week, refusing to even look at her....  
  
"Fine. You can be a little kid about this all you want but your bieng really selfish because all I want is to be happy and-"  
  
She hadnt been able to finish her sentence before he was off the car and turning towards her. His dark blue eyes burning into her heart...  
  
"You think he can make you happy? Is that what your telling me?"  
  
His voice was low and edgy. She gulped hard trying to stay true to her resolve....  
  
"Yes."  
  
She muttered the words trying to keep her shoulders from slumping due to the scrutiny of his gaze.  
  
"He won't but its okay. I'm over it. Everything is fine. You have him, I have Peyton. Lets just let things play out as they will. I have class, see ya."  
  
Haley walked towards her next class in a bit of a daze. Her conversation with Lucas had NOT gone as planned. In fact, his too-cool-for- school attitude kind of scared the hell of her. It just wasnt him and part of her wondered if it was the way he was dealing with it all....  
  
She must of not been paying attention because one minute she was walking and then the next minute she was bumping into Peyton, literally.  
  
"Wow. Walk much?"  
  
Haley muttered an apology and was about to keep walking when she felt herself being ushered towards a nearby bench.  
  
"Can we talk for a minute. I kind of need some advice... about Lucas."  
  
Haley glanced at Peyton who took out a Newport and began smoking, looking out at the vacant parking lot.  
  
"Yeah but I don't know if I can help. I mean right now Lucas and I are not really talking..."  
  
"I know."  
  
Haley looked down at her shoes as she was contemplating on what to say next when Peyton just started in with a tone mixed with anger and hurt.  
  
" You know I think thats why everything was so messed up last night between me and him.... In fact, I think your the problem. It really wasn't suppose to be like that between me and him. His focus was off and afterwords, he just became so distant... He wouldn't talk or anything. He just left the car and said goodnight. I mean he was an ass, plain and simple and I've never seen him like that. I just felt kind of cheap and yet I really do like him.. I don't what I am suppose to do or feel right now, I just want you to know what happened so mabye you can get a clue and let him go so mabye this thing between him and me can have a chance.."  
  
Haleys eyes shot up at Peyton with utter shock.... nothing was about to prepare her for what came next.... nothing.  
  
"Last night, Lucas and I had sex."  
  
---  
  
AN: Okay, I know what your thinking and yes, most of you might not like what I just did. Thats fine but I see the overall picture so please TRUST ME on this. Lucas isnt going to be an ASS or anything there is more to it and I am trying to be real here because we all know that guys act out differently and this kind of can be realistic since Peyton and him are TOGETHER as a couple... so.. dont FLAME me... just stop reading if you want or you can continue which I WOULD LOVE.. but I just know what I am doing.. hopefully =) 


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